Introductory Message

Greetings peasant, welcome to our humble abode. Before we begin, let us bring you a story of how we came to being.

As with all creation, there is formation, and as with all formation, there should be fornication. However, this is not the case with TP Gang, for we are all youthful, handsome, yet straight males. Although sexuality, a topic very captivating and commercially viable, will be a majorly recurring theme in the posts to come, our handsomeness and straightness have minimal incidence whatsoever on this episode that covers our origins. Just take note of that fact for now.

Remember the classic Chinese tale of the Ten Brothers, thought by many (inaccurately) as a cheap knock-off of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs? In actuality, Disney actually bought creative rights to the original story and spun it off, this time adding a fair maiden and the white prince, which then as we all know went on to become one of the most profitable franchises of modern animation history. Hence, we again witness the power of sexuality. Without the sexy temptress that is Snow White, nobody in his right mind would watch the Seven Dwarfs. That emotional need to possess feelings of superiority in height had already been filled by the Oompa Loompas of Roald Dahl. Or more simply the country of Japan.

Ignoring that short bit of digression, the tale of the Ten Brothers is one that is quite interesting. As most local peasants are incorrectly informed, our town's etymology that is this blog's namesake is the result of the abundant species of Ironwood trees. What you don't know and the government has spent years to cover up is the fact that the legendary Ten Brothers actually emigrated to Singapore (then known as 南洋, to them anyway) in the 1950s. However, luck was running low for them as 1st brother got incarcerated for outrage of modesty while peering around with his binocular eyes one day. 5th brother was on the Air Force's red alert with his constant uncontrolled bouts of sudden aviation without official permit. 9th brother with his big mouth and loud voice had it worst; his political activism often saw him tried in court for contempt of state. In a final act of defiance, the Ten Brothers simultaneously pulled their pants down to their ankles and ran around, finally culminating in the heterolytic (hence not gay) fusion (not fission) of their phalluses (don't ask me why), before getting frozen in time and turning into the landlocked landmass that we know of as Tampines today. True story.

Which logically explains why Avenue 7 is so damn long (7th brother was the tall one), and Avenue 10 always floods (10th brother is the crying one). Why Avenue 1 always experiences traffic jams still remains an unsolved mystery.

And this painstakingly condensed archive just about covers the beginnings of our hometown, or the origins of our origins (say that five times in a row).

Toodles.