Iron Man 2

So that's Iron Man 2, which flies to Singapore this Friday.

Of course, here at tpgang we do not just go all fanboy overdrive at the mention of each piece of adrenaline-pumped popular culture. Instead, we make thought-provoking sociopolitical commentary masked as bullshit. It is simply unfortunate that most people take our writings at face value and pass it off as nothing more than plain bullshit, very much similar to how my hidden talent is still hidden till today.

So commences our sociopolitical commentary on this very cool looking upcoming film. Socially, Tony Stark, with his wealth, women, and widgets (gizmos don't start with w), is without a doubt cooler than most cool things known to man combined, except for absolute zero, which by the law of physics denote nothing to be cooler than. This scientific observation is in line with the physical tone taken by the film, and by that I do not mean how action-packed the films are, which they are, but rather the way they chose to glorify the wonders of the scientific discipline. Watching how Stark graduates summa cum laude, breaks barriers, and invents things that would come straight out of a sci-fi movie, my interest in physics is almost revived. As I reach out to my notes on Quantum Physics I, determined to miniaturise the arc reactor even further, it suddenly dawns upon me that it IS A GODDAMN SCI-FI FILM, so ha! Well played and good try, Hollywood.

Interestingly, the nearest person I could find sharing similar achievements to that of Stark's in Singapore is this guy, whom honestly comes off as a snob in showing his achievements (check out the comparison sheet). You have to admit he has the expertise and wealth (and hence the girls when put in the Singapore context), but Tony Stark would kick his ass to infinity with minimal work potential if he were on a third column in that comparison chart. Arc Reactor? NO. Impenetrable Atomic Armour from the Future? NO. Author of 'A' Level Worked Physics Solution? Oh wait.

Expanding on the point about how most local girls only have financial stability as a mate-choosing criteria, I think this is where we all can heave a sigh of relieve. You do notice that bringing back the example of Iron Man, we would expect Stark, with his wealth and suaveness (naive=naivete suave=suavete? Okay, apparently not), to be able to bed and fled every girl he sees and wants, right? Wrong. He had to painstakingly craft witty dialogue in order to get into that reporter's pants, which when converted into a form of a conversation map would have resulted in so many possibilities I would have just said screw it and went home to tighten the screws on my armour instead. But here in our glorious country the only statement you need to provide is your bank statement and you're on the way to blissful marriage. And why is that? Simple. The abundance of good looking men in America only gives women more freedom of choice. Opportunity costs are high and they can afford to go for the best. However in Singapore, handsome guys are low in supply, simply because they are capital intensive and even then, there is a high chance that handsome guys might be substitutes to females (instead of being complements, because they are gay). Although we do not engage in the most handsomeness-efficient production methods, the desirable outcome generated here is how ladies wouldn't be picky because they simply can't be. So guys, advice is to stay consistently ugly, because only then will this mate-guaranteeing trend continue to prevail. At the same time, however, there is a worrying phenomena of globalization and specialization of trade occurring, which is most evident from the growing number of Caucasiophillic local women. If you're some hot shot, hot blooded, hot angmoh with cold hard cash, good for you- you won the girl fair and square. But quite often when you see middle-aged, bald-patched angmohs with a pretty young thing on the train (hence not rich), dropping hair as fast as the Circle Line (which is pretty damn fast), the thought of how a fast track to riches would be to set up a Singaporean bride agency in Angmohland never fails to cross your mind. Which brings me to my strong urge to the government to implement protectionistic policies to marriage right now. With their insatiable needs, women are bound to become more fastidious in their demands, and soon the nation will see herself saddled with problems faced by similar nations with a high male concentration ratio. Rape, homosexuality and homosexual rape just to name a few.

If I had time I would go on further about how Iron Man can solve the current political crisis in Bangkok, and I do. But then I realised, what the hell, Iron Man is red, and hence would be mistakenly regarded as a political naysayer. Then I also realised that Iron Man has quite a bit of yellow on him, so he would be taken for as a supporter of the King. Which is very desirable as his show of allegiance for both sides, coupled with his superhuman powers, would be more than able to bring peace and compromise to their ongoing troubles. However, transiting at Europe to refuel for his flight to Thailand, the volcano of Eyjafjallajökull erupted and caused all flights to be cancelled. So my solution would be to burn every Thais retinas so that they become colour blind and just see grey and will go "oh what is this new group for?" then you turn and nonchalantly tell them "world peace, dickwad". Then they realise everyone is grey and there is great success.

Wow, blogging is tiring.